Love Beyond Comparison

I’m up in the air at the moment, in route to Colorado. Another unplanned “adventure” for which I didn’t even have a ticket booked this time yesterday.

I am sitting next to a man who is literally almost 7 feet tall (I asked, he measures in at 6’11” and yes, he does play basketball). His sprawling knees have me plastered to the wall of the plane because I am sitting by the window and this poor unfortunate giant is wedged in the MIDDLE seat. His discomfort is clear. However, as I too sit wedged and uncomfortable I realize if I turn to him and tell him I share in his pain, I have this guess he might think I’m crazy.

I am driven to anxiety prior to flying because I know how my body will feel during the trip. I don’t sit for long periods of time pretty much ever— the pain of two previously broken hips and a pelvis as well as my also healed but fractured and protruding tailbone. Scarred lungs and weak heart. Its enough that I weigh out a 12 hour drive (or 40 drive) against a flight and have found myself a cross country road tripper— and I actually find a lot of joy in that! But Colorado is far more than a 12 hour trek from Florida and this quick trip meant the only sensical option was flying. So up in the air is where I find myself.

And it’ll be worth it. When I was younger and I was facing something that seemed difficult my mom would tell me, “it can be the worst thing in the world but in 6 hours it’ll be over and you’ll have survived.” This terminal without a timeline girl can tell you for certain that having a clear marker of when pain will end totally changes the approach to conquering it.

But that’s a conversation for another day.

Today I am thinking of the human origami situation next to me. How his pain is on display, and understandable, and our section’s collective pity toward his plight to be expected. I don’t need to experience his discomfort to know it’s real, nor will comparing mine or trying to equate it help him in this moment.

Along with safe travels and health, I’ve been asking God for provision and an unexpected level of blessing in the matter I’m flying out for. But the truth is, in light of all my other circumstances, I almost felt like I shouldn’t be praying those things because even though for this weekend, the reasons were enough to navigate the pain of a flight and come out to Colorado… in light of everything else I’m walking through, prayers for this feel insignificant or even trite.

If I look from that perspective, I think I have the same feelings that some of my friends share they wrestle when they tell me about the challenges in their life. Daily this week some of my closest friends precede sentences in which they explain a prayer request or situation in life with the disclaimer, “I know this is nothing compared to what you’re going through.” And I hate that.

If I’m being honest, there are days looking at a friends pregnant belly that are gut wrenching. And days I stand at a seat holding a cane being led in worship by people on platform which I used to jump and dance that I’ll never lead from again. There are prayer requests my friends share that are challenges caused by blessings I’d give anything to have in my life.

At best, it’s comparison… and if you haven’t heard, that’s a pretty quick recipe to eat up all your joy.

So I don’t compare. I cherish. I choose the person I love. To care about their heart, which means I care about their hardship no matter the size. It takes my eyes away from comparison and moves me toward compassion and in doing so, I feel like I’ve actually been graced with more opportunities and capacity to pray for people in the midst of this season. And the bonus is that keeping a soft heart leaves you open to emotion on BOTH sides. So while you will feel pain, you are also keeping yourself open to greater measures of hope and joy and love.

And I think if we can stay there, we’ll find God shows us how to do it, because it’s how HE loves us. God’s in the minor things just like he’s in the big obvious things. Because He cares about our hearts. He tells us not to be anxious (or consumed or troubled) by ANYTHING, but simply to present our requests to Him. He doesn’t qualify that statement with a measuring tape for our request. In the same way, when we bear each other’s burdens, let’s not quantify them based on how seemingly heavy they are to carry. Let’s just share them. Because we love each other.

Today my love gave me an opportunity to talk with a couple friends and we got to hope together for our circumstances. Amidst conversations about challenges, I felt like I was given a gift, and from my view out this window I can tell you what I see first is the reflection of the smile that brings to my face.

Keep your hope up.

PS I do still love travel and adventure and am so thankful that no matter the discomfort I’ve been given the energy and ability to make at least one more journey in this #terminalaintterrible life.